


a cry for help

by murphamy



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Modern Era, Murphamy Week, Murphamy Week 2016, Soulmates, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 05:41:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7496043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murphamy/pseuds/murphamy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy learns about soulmates when he’s 10.</p><p>He is taught their origin - something about Zeus and Apollo - and that not everyone has one, and some doubt their existence entirely.</p><p>He’s shown documentaries and videos, and understands the connection soulmates have, and how happy they are together.</p><p>From that moment on, he’s absolutely adamant that he has a soulmate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a cry for help

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has non-explicit mentions of abuse to a child, so be warned.

 

  
Bellamy learns about soulmates when he’s 10.

He is taught their origin - something about Zeus and Apollo - and that not everyone has one, and some doubt their existence entirely.

He’s shown documentaries and videos, and understands the connection soulmates have, and how happy they are together.

From that moment on, he’s absolutely adamant that he has a soulmate.

He can’t explain how or why he knows, he just does.

His mother might not have one, but that’s not to say he doesn’t have one too.

He’s sure that’s not how it works.

It’s in the summer holidays that he decides to try and find them.

His teacher had told him that soulmates are connected internally (hence _soul_ mates), but also externally.

Whatever happens on your soulmates _skin_ , happens on yours too.

Everything from bruises to tattoos.

Bellamy doesn’t really understand it, but he trusts it.

It’s on Octavia’s fourth birthday that he scribbles a greeting on the back of his hand with a sharpie, praying his soulmate replies.

They don’t.

He tries again and again to communicate, but gets nothing in return.

It breaks his 10 year old heart, but he perseveres.

-

Bellamy gives up when he’s 12.

He doesn’t have a soulmate, and he doesn’t care anymore.

His mother had always told him as much, but he was too stubborn to listen. He was so obsessed with the idea that he could be happy with someone - to live a life different from his mother’s.

He loves her, but she’s not truly happy.

She often says she doesn’t deserve a soulmate - and she has forced her two beautiful children to live their lives without one too.

Bellamy wouldn’t dare blame her, but it does sadden him sometimes.

At school, he sees children in the playground proudly showing off their marks.

Whether it’s a cat scratch, or a scraped knee, they look happy.

Bellamy feels lonely.

There are plenty of people without soulmates, but none of them actually seem to want one.

Bellamy does.

There is an ache in his chest that a 12 year old shouldn’t feel.

A need in the pit of his stomach, like guilt, or nervousness, that has no explanation.

He forces it to the back of his mind, and lets it go.

He doesn’t need a soulmate, does he? He has his mother, and his sister.

He shares his soul with them, even if it isn’t the same.

It’s good enough.

-

  
At 14, Bellamy thinks he’s in love with Clarke.

Clarke is his best friend, beautiful and brilliant and bright. She radiates kindness, and Bellamy soon realises he has confused adoration with love.

He does love her, just not in the way he had thought.

He confesses this all to her on one spring afternoon, and she laughs and hugs him, reassuringly.

She understands his confusion - says that she had gone through the same thing with Finn, until Lexa moved in next door and they had the _same black eye_. As it turned out, Lexa kickboxes.

It’s another reminder that he doesn’t have a soulmate, but all of his friends seem to.

It’s early summer of the same year that he meets Raven, an insanely talented brunette with aspirations to become an astronomer.

She, like Bellamy, doesn’t have a soulmate, and they click instantly, spending most of their summer break together.

-

Soon after Bellamy turns 15, he realises he’s gay.

It isn’t revealed in any spectacular way.

During football practice one week, he catches a glimpse of Atom's naked torso, and can’t explain the way it makes him feel.

Two weeks later, he kisses Raven, and then he just _knows_.

The male body is far more appealing than the female body.

He’s gay, and he feels no shame.

-

Bellamy is only just 16 when he notices the bruises.

It starts with the gruesome purple-yellow splotches on his shin, or elbow, and progresses to scars that scab over, varying in shape and size and depth.

It’s three months from the first bruise that Bellamy almost can’t recognise his own body. He’s scarred, badly, and too afraid to even show his mother.

He knows from the first bruise that it’s because of a _soulmate_ , but he ignores it. It isn’t that he tries to ignore it on purpose - he’s scared.

What is happening to his soulmate?

They’re probably a delinquent, getting into careless fights and not throwing a second thought his way.

Bellamy is also angry - he has tried to contact his soulmate numerous times, ever since he was a child, but was constantly rejected.

It wasn’t even rejection.

They just never acknowledged his existence.

So Bellamy deals with it by pretending they don’t exist.

He shouldn’t have.

-

The day before his 17th birthday, Bellamy is sick.

His day starts like any other. He struggles to get out of bed, drags himself to the bathroom to shower, and turns the hot water on half-asleep.

He reaches over for the shampoo, and stops dead in his tracks.

There, scrawled messily onto the back of his hand, is a message.

“ _Please help me_.”

Bellamy goes immediately to his mother - unable to breathe as he rubs the tears from his cheeks, banging on her bedroom door.

Whatever is happening to his soulmate, it isn’t normal.

He shouldn’t have ignored it.

His mother tells him as much.

-

His 17th birthday is unlike any other. His closest friends visit, but there is no celebrating.

His mother had called Clarke’s father, Jake, the day before, as she has no experience with soulmates herself.

Jake had told Bellamy to write back - which seemed extremely obvious - but to wait until today to do so.

Clarke’s father sits next to him now, at the table, holding out an uncapped pen for him to take.

Bellamy’s hands are shaking as he does so.

He places the tip to his arm, ignoring the goosebumps and hairs that stand tall.

“ _What's wrong?_ ” he writes, like Jake instructs him to.

His friends and family are sat around the dining table - his mother, Octavia, Clarke, Raven, Wells, and Clarke’s parents. The entire room buzzes with nervous energy as they all wait, eyes boring into Bellamy.

A reply comes half an hour later.

“ _I'm scared_.”

The handwriting is almost unreadable, scribbled in glittery green gel, and Bellamy’s heart aches.

“ _Why are you scared?_ ”

Jake didn’t tell him what to write this time, but Bellamy trusts his own instincts.

“ _If I tell you, will you help me?_ ”

“ _Yes._ ”

It’s a promise.

“ _They hurt me,_ ” and “ _I want to go home,_ ” and Bellamy can’t breathe.

It’s Jake who takes the pen from Bellamy’s fingers, and pulls his arm close. He looks up at Abby, hesitant, and she nods.

Jake writes as Bellamy remembers how to breathe.

He’s not sure how it all works out, but by the end of the night he learns his soulmate’s name is Murphy, he’s 10, his parents are gone, and he lives in a foster home. It’s a battle to take everything in, but he processes it all eventually.

It’s then that he’s sick.

The bruises started when Murphy was 9 or 10, and Bellamy could have done something if he had just told someone.

The year passes by in a blur of exams and meetings and paperwork, but Bellamy knows it’s worth it.

-

When Bellamy turns 18, he gets well and truly drunk for the first time, now that he’s legal.

He and Clarke are celebrating.

Clarke has finally gotten the baby brother she’s always wanted.

Except, he isn’t a baby.

He’s 11, bright-blue-eyed, and full of life.

He adores his new family, and they adore him.

His name is _Murphy_.

Well, it’s John, but he'll curse anyone who calls him that.

Bellamy adores him too.

Murphy’s eager smiles and puppy-dog eyes have him wrapped around his little finger.

He would do anything for him.

-

On Bellamy’s 21st birthday, he’s kissed.

It’s clumsy and messy and maybe a little bit wrong, but it’s perfect.

Murphy’s needy and impatient, and Bellamy forces him to take it slow.

They kiss - or, in other words, Bellamy teaches Murphy _how_  to kiss - but that’s all they do.

Bellamy knows his boundaries, and having watched Murphy grow up for the past few years, he refuses to do anything that the mischievous teenager might regret.

Still, he savours what he can get, stroking his fingers through Murphy’s messy brown hair, sliding a hand up the back of his shirt to trace his cold fingers along his warm skin.

Murphy’s lips are ever so inviting, and Bellamy doesn’t want to leave.

-

Bellamy turns 24 and everything changes.

Not in a bad way.

In fact, it’s very much the opposite.

Clarke marries Lexa in possibly the most expensive wedding dress Bellamy can imagine. They look beautiful, but Bellamy instead chooses to watch Anya and Abby’s rivalry to spoil their daughters. Their half-hearted glares from either side of the church pews are far more entertaining than Clarke and Lexa locking lips.

The reception, besides the official marriage, is the best part - Raven finds out her soulmates has been Wells all along, when Clarke demands that Raven gets a henna tattoo and Wells spends the entire night telling her to get rid of it.

A businessman can’t just walk around with a henna tattoo, you know.

Perhaps the biggest change - and the best change - is when Murphy moves in with him.

Bellamy had long ago completed university, achieving his degree in History and Politics, and it fills him with pride and joy when Murphy gets into a Creative Writing degree, and rejects the idea of living on campus in favour of hogging all of Bellamy’s duvet.

Bellamy lets him get away with it.

Not because he loves him, or anything.

Definitely not.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed! I'm the admin on murphamy-week, so I hope my contribution is okay! I had (and still have) so many ideas for soulmates, including Murphy's POV for this? I'm not sure if I'll ever get around to it, if it's wanted.
> 
> But hey, oh well! Go check out the murphamy-week blog on tumblr, where all of the contributions will be reblogged!


End file.
